Take a Pregnancy Pause....

I have a lot of pregnant friends...two of them recently had their little ones...5 others are due sometime this year. It's exciting to see them in this time of their lives, growing their families, and growing themselves, literally. Recently having being pregnant last year, with my little Addi, that feeling of a growing belly is still fresh in my mind.


Maybe one of the biggest topics that come up with these pregnant mommas is the fact that some people lose all sense when it comes to a pregnant woman. Honestly.


When I was pregnant, I actually received these comments...


1. Are you sure there isn't two in there?


2. You're STILL pregnant?


3. I think you are even bigger than when you had your first baby.


4. I can tell you are having a girl. Your nose is much bigger.


5. Any day now right? (I think I was 5 months at the time)


6. Are you SURE your due date is right?


7. Oh honey, you look miserable.


The best one was "You look smaller on top....but thats probably because of your big belly makes everything look uneven."


Seriously?

Then there are those who will reach out and touch you. Literally. You are in the grocery store, minding your business, buying a KitKat bar for you and your growing baby...and suddenly....



Some lady comes up and pats your belly. "Hello in there!!!" Horrified at this act of invasion of personal space...all you can do is stare wide eyed as you eat your KitKat bar and mumble a pathetic "Oh...uh...yeah ...thanks." And move quickly on.

You know this may be a new flash to some people...but I will let you in on a little secret...here it is..listen closely.

WOMEN....NO MATTER IF THEY ARE PREGNANT
OR NOT DO NOT WANT TO BE TOLD THEY ARE HUGE OR THEY ARE GETTING BIGGER BY THE MINUTE.

They also don't want strangers coming up and touching them. Just because there is a baby in there, it doesnt mean it's free game to put your hands on their belly. If you dont want me coming up and patting your beer gut affectionately, please...don't do the same to a pregnant woman. It's weird and uncomfortable and a little on the creepy side.

And while we are on the subject....its nice to talk about something other than the baby too...because there is only so many times someone can talk about their due date, their baby's sex, or how their nursery is painted the perfect shade of sky blue.

So for your reading enjoyment...especially for you pregnant mommies out there..I give to you..."Things you WISH you could say or do while you were pregnant."

1. When the lady in the superstore asks if you are pregnant, look shifty eyed and act nervous. Whisper to her, asking her to be your lookout as you smuggle this watermelon out of the store. Promise her a slice if all goes well.

2. When people ask you if you are pregnant when you are in your third trimester, tell them, "No, I just ate waaaay too much at lunch today."

3. When people rub your belly affectionately and without permission, look at them seriously in the eye and say, "I shall grant you three wishes and three wishes only." Then sing some songs from Aladdin.

4. When people say, "You are so big! It must be twins!" Seriously reply...."No, she's just big boned. Jabba the Hut is her father. You know...genetics."

5. Tattoo the due date, the sex of the baby, your decision to breastfeed or not, and whether this baby was "planned" on your forehead... because it's everbody's business apparently.

6. "Why yes! I am huge! Thanks for reminding me!"

7. When people ask "you haven't had that baby yet?" sweetly reply, "yes, just last Thursday! We went ahead and got to work on number two!" Pat your belly affectionately.

8. Any man who tries to give you pregnancy advice, smile and ask him if his labor was intense, how long it took him to fully dilate, and if he breastfed right away.

9. At work when people say, "Oh, you're STILL here? You haven't had that baby yet???" Just reply, "No, I am a pregnant figment of your imagination. Carry on."

10. A complete stranger touches your stomach, without permission, and squeals in excitement, "hello little baby!" Smile and reach out and touch their belly in return, "Hello, Subway sandwich with extra onions... hello in there!"

So let this be a lesson to us all...Pregnant women like their personal space and do NOT appreciate comments about their size.....huh...who knew, right?