Breast cancer awareness, neither funny nor sexy....discuss...

You see it on Yogurt lids...on soup can labels...on cereal boxes...key chains....t-shirts...and now on Facebook.

Breast cancer awareness month is upon us. That sounds funny even as I type it....every month should be breast cancer awareness month. I hope all my fellow friends are doing their self breast exams...well my girlfriends anyway (although fellows....if there are any fellows who read my blog....doubtful.....but fellows, you should be aware that breast cancer is NOT just a girl thing...)

I am grateful for products that are out there spreading the word about breast cancer and how serious it is. I applaud a local news station here sending an email reminder for women to conduct a self breast exam. Relay for Life team members, thank you for your time and efforts.

Facebook....thanks for being insensitive.

Last year, if you are a facebooker, women everywhere were supposed to coyly post the color of their bra as their status, in order to promote breast cancer awareness. So last year a rainbow of colors were posted and .....thats pretty much it. Were lives saved because you posted you were wearing a leopard striped bra? Doubtful. But it made us feel better about ourselves.

For the good of womanhood and to defeat BREAST CANCER....women were posting"white"..."green"...black"....." posy pink bra with the slight rip in the side!!!" :::pats self on the back....thinking about how many women are rushing right out to conduct a self exam or making an appt with their doc for a mammogram:::

No....no not at all really.

So now.....another year has passed and in my inbox this week....

Remember the game last year about what color bra you were wearing at the moment? The purpose was to increase awareness of October Breast Cancer Awareness month. It was a tremendous success and we had men wondering for days what was with the colors and it made it to the news! TIMEOUT!!!!! (Totally just pulled a Zack Morris Saved By the Bell moment here)...sooo lets see....by tremendous success.....we were successful because we had men wondering about colors...colors of our bra...and it was on the news? SQUEEEEAAAALLLL!!!! TIME IN! This year's game is about your handbag/purse, where we put our handbag/purse the moment we get home for example, " I like it on the couch" or "I like it on the kitchen counter" "I like it on the dresser" well u get the idea. Just put your answer as your status with nothing more than that and cut and paste this message and forward to all your FB female friends to their inbox. The bra game made it to the news. (more squealing! Eeee the news!!!) Let's see how powerful we women really are!! REMEMBER- DO NOT PUT YOUR ANSWER AS A REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE-PUT IT AS YOUR STATUS!!PASS THIS TO EVERY WOMAN YOU KNOW.

Ok ladies...

First, I would like to know....how is your purse related at all to breast cancer awareness? How is this supposed to work....really?

So lets say "Mrs Smith" leaves her purse on the table and posts (all in the name of breast cancer, mind you) " I like it on the table."

FB girlfriend number one asks? "What are you talking about? Why are you posting sexual inuendos on FB?"

Mrs. Smith says "Oh I'm really talking about....BREAST CANCER AWARENESS, silly!!!!"

FB girlfriend number one says, "Ahhh yes of course!! Thanks for reminding me to do my self exam by a totally pointless, sexually charged, ridiculous post. I will be sure to tell my husband to look at your post too, so he can be in total cluelessness and we shall laugh at him together. Muahahaha."

End Scene.

Honestly. girls, is this how we are going to....what did the message say?....oh yes show the world and "see how powerful we women really are" ? By passing on a FB message that says NOTHING about breast cancer and pretending we are "doing our part" and oh my gosh! Hoping it will get on the news!!!

You want to raise awareness? There are other ways....ways that actually give a message or donate money to the Komen foundation. Ways that don't belittle the women who found out too late or the women going through their first second or third battle with breast cancer. Getting people to talk about breast cancer is a good step...this may have been an attempt at that, but it may be more effective if your message actually had something to do with.....BREAST CANCER! Just a thought for next year ladies.

Mom Talk

Things I've found myself saying lately....

- Your Barrel of monkeys don't go in your undies....no thats not a pocket.

- Because Addison doesnt eat chips, thats why.

- No honey, I dont want a goldfish. Thanks for sharing though. No. No. I don't want any. Thank you. That was delicious. Yes, it's nice to share.

- Because I can't get a NEW Connor if you break....so sit down and stop jumping on the couch.

- No you are a boy, not a girl. Because God made you a boy. No that wont change.

-Please dont put peas in your hair. Because its gross thats why.

-We dont eat fruit snacks for breakfast....no...just cause they have the word "fruit" in them doesnt make it breakfast. Have a banana.

-Yes, you will be 10 one day...but thats a long way to go still.

-Well, if you really WANT to dip your cantelope in ketchup, that's up to you.

-Just because your CD broke doesnt mean you get a new one. Yes, I know Nana bought you a new CD, when your old one broke and that was nice, but its not going to happen every time. No, you can't call Nana now.

-Because Atlanta is very far away. Too far to visit today. No not tomorrow either.

-Well, yes, technically Elmo is "nakey" (naked) but he has fur all over his body, so I think it's okay.



What about you? Do YOU ever find yourself saying things to your kids you can't believe came out of your mouth?

Are you trendy?

Trends....do you remember the "trend" of your youth? Mine was the slap bracelet.

The bracelet that is a fashion accessory and a small weapon to mildly hurt your best friends with...awesome.

Other trends have come and gone. I have learned todays' trend that's popular with the kiddos and is slightly less injury causing...Silly Bandz....if you have elementary school aged children you probably have come faced to face with these thingies.

But with the adult crowd? Whats the popular trend? No I am not talking about those faded acid washed jeans you still think are cool (psssst...they're not by the way)...Im not really even going to talk about fashion trends today....

I am talking about the trend of America being intolerant of enemy number one....

"Crybaby"

and his accomplice

"Whiny Toddler"

(notice I of course didn't post pictures of my own children, because....heh....they never cry....yeah....)

I am becoming increasingly aware of stories in the news regarding the intolerance of chidren in general. In this "Me Matters" society, those of us with children are starting to be viewed as an inconvenience to those around us. Now please dont get me wrong because I'm not out here to talk badly about people who choose not to have kids. You either want them or you dont. And hey, I respect that. I don't have the viewpoint that it is a woman's job to have kids....I also don't live in 1950 either. But I do have a problem with people who have decided to not have kids, or have forgotten how it was when their children were small, to declare children as a "problem" or "an annoyance," for doing exactly what kids do....being kids.

Kids cry, they whine, and the scream sometimes....the also have to eat, and this may or may not include breastfeeding (gasp!) These are facts of life.

Recent debates of should airlines have "kid free" sections, and the latest, The Olde Salty Restaraunt in NC has a sign displayed in their window, "Screaming children will NOT be tolerated," have parents everywhere talking.....Maybe even screaming...I guess they can't eat at Old Salty's either.

Magazines have also hopped on the bandwagon. Better Holmes and Gardens recently published an article called "10 Commandments of Dining with Little Kids." I had a hard time finding the article, after much outcry from breastfeeding mothers (and you will know why after reading the article), but here it is, I found it on another blog... www.drmomma.org/2010/05/better-holmes-and-gardens-10.html BetterHolmes and Gardens retracted the article, apologized the nursing mothers of the world and gave it a brand new title..."9 Commandments of Dining with Little Kids."

Catchy.

Hey, Better Holmes and Gardens, how about just sticking with telling me which flowers bloom best in direct sunlight and leave parenting articles to Magazines that actually know something about children? Like "Parenting Magazine".

Marie Claire also had an article out recently...and sadly I cannt find that article online....and I've thrown away my copy of the magazine....but basically another article complaining about children for doing children like things(.....P.S. I do not know why I am getting a subscription to Marie Claire...I did not subscribe nor was it a gift from someone....I think maybe I agreed to a school magazine fundraiser of some sort in my sleep deprived state. )

So here's my complaint. I just dont get the wave of child intolerance with people. I'm not talking about children, who are running wild among the restaurant and fling kethup covered french fries your way, or the child who is hysterically screaming for the past half hour straight while mom and dad tune the screamer and each other out while texting at the restaurant table. Not cool.

I'm talking about a baby who suddenly bursts out with a cry at the table because she is hungry...and the dirty looks a mom gets about it because the person at the next table over cant enjoy his Red Lobster Cheddar Biscuits "in peace." The dirty look from then attempting to solve the crying by breastfeeding, no NOT in the bathroom (as Better Homes and Gardens suggests), but at the table.The dirty look to that really tired mom on the airplane because the kiddo is screaming out of being overtired.

The solution is not banning children from places. (However, I also do not think you should be bringing your kid to exclusively "grown-up" restaurants...a good rule of thumb in my opinion, if it offers a children's plate...you are good to go. And most restaurants do.)

I believe the solution is to realize kids are going to cry and its a part of life. And to realize that the crying kid isnt truly "ruining your meal," anymore than that annoying guy, who talks too loud on his cell phone the next table over...or that lady who is having a way too loud conversation about her colonoscopy episode.

People have been traveling with kids on airlines forever...and now, suddenly, people just can't "handle" that anymore?? I got news for you....the mom over there...yeah that one... with the screaming 4 year old in the seat next to her and the crying 6 month old in her lap? Yeah she probably feels like she cant "handle it" either. NO parent, at least the parents I know of, enjoys their kids crying and enjoys the fact that the others around them are probably bothered by this.

Trends come and go. I haven't seen a slap bracelet in years. One day Silly Bandz will be a thing of the past. Hopefully this trend of Child Intolerance will be disappearing faster than Crocs and Ugg Boots.

Like sands in the hourglass... these are the numbers of our lives

Who has two thumbs, is awfully cute, has a unique talent of waking his siter from her slumber, and loves numbers?

this guy!

Isn't this cute? Anybody who knows Connor knows his love of numbers. A lot of parents have asked me what I have "done" with Connor for him to know all his numbers so well. We do 15 worksheets each morning. Flashcards after lunch. And I make him sleep with these foam numbers under his pillow. No. Not really. Not even close actually. Although Im sure if I let him, he would happily sleep with these numbers. Numbers and counting have been something Connor has picked up quite naturally. Sean and I started by teaching him 1 thru 20, very innocently, maybe around 18 months never knowing of what we were in for. But no, we aren't doing anything out of the ordinary as far as teaching him his numbers. But I wont deny that I am looking forward to the awesome car he will lovingly buy his mother when he is working on Wall Street with the Big Wigs. Now? Now Connor can count to 100 (forwards and backwards) and can arrange numbers into the thousands and almost always say it correctly. His latest development as of this morning was counting by 10's...not that I think he knows what counting by 10's is...but I still was pretty amazed. Sometimes I actually think he eats numbers for breakfast....



(I walked into the kitchen and found this on his plate....it was just too perfect to not take a picture of)

So in honor of my counting crazed kid......here are some numbers that pertain to me.....


2 - the number of times I got up with Addison in the middle of the night.


4- How many times I have had to make appointments at Vision Works because apparently the convenience of disposable contacts are ironically very inconvenient.


24 - the number of crayola crayons on my kitchen floor right now


5 - the amount of times I asked Connor to pick up those crayons


3 - the amount of times it took me to bend over to pick up those crayons


4 - the amount of fake coffees it would take in order to really get me fully awake this morning.


0- the amount of fake coffees I have actually drank this morning


$17.50 The amount I spent in groceries for a special birthday breakfast for Connor this weekend.


2- The number of items I forgot AFTER paying for my groceries.


1- The number of cashiers I asked if I could leave my paid items with her as I went to get my forgotten items.


$17.50 - The amount someone walked off with FREE GROCERIES, because they accidentally took my bags.


2- the number of items I got for free after the Publix manager felt so badly about me losing my groceries.

4- The amount of books Connor and I have read together today

11- The amount of smiles Addi has given me just this morning.


and finally...

3 - The number of hours until naptime.

Farewell black studded cute purse, alas I knew thee well.

I have entered "that phase" of mommyhood....

that phase where I no longer carry a purse...or rather I carry a purse, but it's pink with a little birdie embroidered on it with a cute saying about "baby"

Gone are the days of the cute black silver studded shoulder bag. Good bye cute summer casual canvas small tote. Sayonara sweet reversable clutch. Farewell black oversized purse, who I purchased just because your inner llining was so adorable.

Now what adorns my wall mirror with hooks? An elmo book bag, my really large polka dot, mommy-chic baby bag, the above mentioned pink birdie baby bag and a small black purse I borrowed from my grandmother so people at least think I have a life outside my children.

I think I may have left some gum in that purse....

Anyway ...why? why no pretty cutesy purses Brooke? I tried for a while! I really did. My black shoulder studded bag became so worn the strap is now frayed and that "hot mommy" look is no longer applicable when your "hot mommy" purse is about to fall off your shoulder.

Summer casual tote, lasted for a while, but proved itself too large to carry along side the much needed and ever so unavoidable pink birdie bag or polka dot hot baby bag.

Reversable clutch is pointless because now I realize I have no time to get my laudry done let alone reverse a purse.

Black oversized purse with cute lining showed real potential...large enough to carry my needs: wallet, phone, lip gloss, that receipt I felt I needed but cant remember why....as well as a few diapers, a wipie case, a paci, and Connor's sippy cup.....sippy cup.....s-i-p-p-y-c-u-p......full of milk.....that didnt close just right on a trip to the mall....to which I ended up with a wet wallet, a drippy phone, unusable lip gloss, a mushy, yet potentially still important receipt, soggy diapers that hadnt even been used for the real reason of soaking up liquid and wetter wipies. The paci and phone survived. My black oversized cute lining purse didnt....no matter how hard I scrubbed and Frebreezed that thing.


So now I must be satisfied with my modern mom hot polkadot baby bag...which has its good points too. Lots of pockets, came with an umbrella and a removable wallet compartment. I can also conveniently hide the fact it is a baby bag....because it IS so cute....except for the fact there's a changing pad and nasal aspiratopr sticking out of it and a paci pod velcroed to the handle....and you know the fact that I am carrying around a baby....people just assume, you know?

The bird bag is hopeless...it screams "This bag is not for mommy...it is for me, the baby, the baby who really loves pink and birds apparently."
I'm not really a fan of birds...but I am a fan of my baby and she needs stuff....so I carry it.

One day black shoulder studded bag and I will meet again. We'll go to Starbucks and have coffee with real caffeine. We'll go to a bookstore and browse leisurely together. But not for awhile....meanwhile I will pack my bird bag to go to Walmart, with sippy cups of milk, and pacis and diapers because I'm sure there will come a day when the Bird bag is long gone, and there will be no wipies to carry, and I will long for those days of when my purse reeked of sour milk.

From the mouth of babes.....

For your reading enjoyment....comedy courtesy of my almost 3 year old and the conversations he has with me (and sometimes with himself).

::Singing and running around the house::: "Jack an Jill, went up da hill to Veggie Tales a wader..."

Connor pretended he was going shopping, grabbed a reuasable bag (way to be a hero for the environment, son!) and later proceeded to show me what he "bought" at "Publix"....."a cucumber, a strawberry, some french fries, a bread, ....a hippo, a monkey, a seven, and this guy!" (a little man that fits in one of his trucks)

As we were pulling into a parking garage..."Mommy, you have 2 choices. You can go this way...or this way. Which choice are you going to make?" I turned into a space. "Good choice, Mommy."

I was changing Addi's diaper and singing to her "On the day Addi was born the angels smiled and the blew on their horns and they danced, they danced, they laughed and they raised their hands. On the day Addi was born." Connor walked by and said, "No Mommy, the angels were not happy. They were sad and they were cryin."

Walking in thehallway to find Connor in the bathroom, attempting to wet his head under running water. I ask, "What are you doing buddy?" He answers, "Connor is putting water on his hair to get handsome for Wila ( his grandmother)."

I walk into Connor's room and say, "Let mommy, comb your hair." He says, "Today is church day!" ( Apparently I only brush his hair on Sundays lol ).

Me: "Connor we need to change your pull-up."
Connor: "No we don't. Don't change my mind!"

::Getting into his Cozy Coupe Car::: "Connor is goin to work."
Me: "Oh? Where do you work?"
Connor: "Connor works at USAB." ( his daddy works at USAA insurance company)
Me: "What do you do at USAB?"
Connor: "Watch the TVs."
Me: "Sounds like a hard job."
Connor:"No, it's not."

DisneyWorld...I like you, but not "love you", like you

For those of you who know me very well...you probably know these following facts about me...

1. I married my highschool sweetheart

2. I have 2 gorgeous children

3. I taught elementary school for a few years

4. I hate ham

5. I'm sorta a Disney nerd

What? You didnt' know about the ham? Well, . . . it's just gross....ham...meat that has a sweet taste to it? Just wrong, I tell you.

The real reason of the post, is to talk Disney though.

I'm sorry if you can't get over the "Ham" fact...just accept it, lets move on.

So a few years back I started visiting a Disney forum, where all the Disney nerds come together and talk Disney stuff. And by Disney stuff, I mean like Disney stuff you never knew even existed. For instance... did you know you can build and customize your own park map on the computer and then it will come mailed to you all "Mickey" official-like so you have your favorite rides pinpointed on the maps (like Soarin and Haunted Mansion) and the rides you skip out on (like The Country Bear Jamboree) will be left unidentified and you will not be bothered by such annoyances. Or did you know, their are many DISers (yes they....ugh..."We" have a name) who swear that the majority of visitors turn to the right when entering the Magic Kingdom and therefore by taking a turn to the left, you will find the lands less crowded. Like I said....Disney nerd.

As I have visited this site (http://www.disboards.com/) I have learned many important tips, like how to work a "childswap"....(no, this is not where you switch your whining crying child, for that well behaved kid sitting nicely in their stroller) or how it is important to not take your very expensive, best stroller to the park, because of stroller theives!!! This site also provided me knowledge of different Disney contests and is the reason why my family won a 5 day stay at Disney's Beach Club for free!!!

I bet you aren't making fun of my Disney nerdiness NOW!....well yes, you probably still are...aren't you?

Let's move on.....to my point...YES! my point, I have one...

What I have come to realize, is some people...these really Hardcore DISers, have a weird notion that Disney is this magical place, where all their dreams come true....No, they REALLY do. You wouldn't believe how many of these people get their Mickey Mouse shorts in a twist, over the silliest things, ...not being the chosen family in a parade, kids upset and crying, or better yet PARENTS upset and crying, people using foul language, Cast Members not going out of their way to appear "magical."

"Magical" is a word tossed around on this site alot...."Magical" trip experience...as in "The man standing in front of me passed gas and ruined my Magical trip experience." or "Riding the monorail to Epcot was just magical, because the bus just 'smelled' like Disney!" (Honestly these people SAY these things) People need to realize that while Disney has this word "magical" attached to it, it's still just a theme park. Theme parks like money...and no, they are not the least bit interested in making your tram ride to the front of Animal Kingdom or your bathroom experience by the Maelstorm ride "magical." Tram rides and potty breaks aren't magical.

While I love Disney, and yes, I do, I really really do love Disney, and you know this now...that and well....the "ham" thing, I do not think I am as crazed about it as some people are. I am comfortable with the fact that I will never be trampled by people who are lined up for the morning " rope drop," or I am also proud that the last time I actually sat through a Disney parade, I was maybe 8.

So to sum up, yes, I'm a Disney nerd, but I'm not a Disneyaholic. And I am in no need of a 12 step program.