Take a Pregnancy Pause....

I have a lot of pregnant friends...two of them recently had their little ones...5 others are due sometime this year. It's exciting to see them in this time of their lives, growing their families, and growing themselves, literally. Recently having being pregnant last year, with my little Addi, that feeling of a growing belly is still fresh in my mind.


Maybe one of the biggest topics that come up with these pregnant mommas is the fact that some people lose all sense when it comes to a pregnant woman. Honestly.


When I was pregnant, I actually received these comments...


1. Are you sure there isn't two in there?


2. You're STILL pregnant?


3. I think you are even bigger than when you had your first baby.


4. I can tell you are having a girl. Your nose is much bigger.


5. Any day now right? (I think I was 5 months at the time)


6. Are you SURE your due date is right?


7. Oh honey, you look miserable.


The best one was "You look smaller on top....but thats probably because of your big belly makes everything look uneven."


Seriously?

Then there are those who will reach out and touch you. Literally. You are in the grocery store, minding your business, buying a KitKat bar for you and your growing baby...and suddenly....



Some lady comes up and pats your belly. "Hello in there!!!" Horrified at this act of invasion of personal space...all you can do is stare wide eyed as you eat your KitKat bar and mumble a pathetic "Oh...uh...yeah ...thanks." And move quickly on.

You know this may be a new flash to some people...but I will let you in on a little secret...here it is..listen closely.

WOMEN....NO MATTER IF THEY ARE PREGNANT
OR NOT DO NOT WANT TO BE TOLD THEY ARE HUGE OR THEY ARE GETTING BIGGER BY THE MINUTE.

They also don't want strangers coming up and touching them. Just because there is a baby in there, it doesnt mean it's free game to put your hands on their belly. If you dont want me coming up and patting your beer gut affectionately, please...don't do the same to a pregnant woman. It's weird and uncomfortable and a little on the creepy side.

And while we are on the subject....its nice to talk about something other than the baby too...because there is only so many times someone can talk about their due date, their baby's sex, or how their nursery is painted the perfect shade of sky blue.

So for your reading enjoyment...especially for you pregnant mommies out there..I give to you..."Things you WISH you could say or do while you were pregnant."

1. When the lady in the superstore asks if you are pregnant, look shifty eyed and act nervous. Whisper to her, asking her to be your lookout as you smuggle this watermelon out of the store. Promise her a slice if all goes well.

2. When people ask you if you are pregnant when you are in your third trimester, tell them, "No, I just ate waaaay too much at lunch today."

3. When people rub your belly affectionately and without permission, look at them seriously in the eye and say, "I shall grant you three wishes and three wishes only." Then sing some songs from Aladdin.

4. When people say, "You are so big! It must be twins!" Seriously reply...."No, she's just big boned. Jabba the Hut is her father. You know...genetics."

5. Tattoo the due date, the sex of the baby, your decision to breastfeed or not, and whether this baby was "planned" on your forehead... because it's everbody's business apparently.

6. "Why yes! I am huge! Thanks for reminding me!"

7. When people ask "you haven't had that baby yet?" sweetly reply, "yes, just last Thursday! We went ahead and got to work on number two!" Pat your belly affectionately.

8. Any man who tries to give you pregnancy advice, smile and ask him if his labor was intense, how long it took him to fully dilate, and if he breastfed right away.

9. At work when people say, "Oh, you're STILL here? You haven't had that baby yet???" Just reply, "No, I am a pregnant figment of your imagination. Carry on."

10. A complete stranger touches your stomach, without permission, and squeals in excitement, "hello little baby!" Smile and reach out and touch their belly in return, "Hello, Subway sandwich with extra onions... hello in there!"

So let this be a lesson to us all...Pregnant women like their personal space and do NOT appreciate comments about their size.....huh...who knew, right?

No touchy.

Adorable right? Yeah...

Just so cute you wanna pinch those cheeks? Shake her little hand?

Hold the phone....

Now if you are my well known relative or a dear friend and you aren't crawling with cold and flu germs...then by all means...pinch those cheeks (Although Addi is in a biting phase, so don't say I didnt warn you...)

However...if you are a complete stranger behind me in line at Target...guess what???

I'd rather you not touch my baby.

Yeah. That happened. For real.

I'm at the checkout line paying for my Target goodies, Connor at my knees and Addi in her carseat that is attached to the Target buggy. I look up to see a lady smiling and cooing at Addi...no problem. Babies are cute...people get all mushy at babies. As I sign my receipt I look up again and the lady now is shaking Addi's little hand.

Ugh. Really? C'mon.

Non threatenly-like...I look the lady over and just say "Ohhhhkay. Time to go." And whisked her and my son away. A few steps away, I pulled out the antibacterial wipes and wiped Addi's hands.

So now following my little story...here is a Public Service Announcement...usually with public service announcements a celebrity will deliver them...so introducing...

Mary Poppins! (Because she's a nanny and she understands these kinds of things)

"Hello All! Marry Poppins here! Cold and Flu season is fast upon us! That means take good care of yourself! Lots of rest! Spoonfuls of sugar to help your cold medicine go down! Washing your hands and ...hmm..oh yes! Please don't go touching any littles babes with your germy strangers hands! The mums just don't like it! Thats all! Chim chim cheerio!"

Did you enjoy that? ....Thanks Mary!

Now I'm not a COMPLETE germ-a-phobe. I don't wipe down playground equipment before Connor goes climbing on it or anything like that. We don't walk around in the mall wearing hazmat suits. (Although I have seen weirder outfits at the mall).

But I believe in the antibacterial wipe. I wipe down my grocery cart handle. We wash hands after playing at the chickfila playarea. And I do carry antibacterial gel with me.
Annnnnd I prefer that complete strangers dont touch my children, passing who knows what to them, even though they are commenting on how absoultely charming they are.

But believe me, they are less charming with snot running down their noses.

Connor's comments...

An insight to my son and the funny things he says...


:::Playing with his cars::: Connor:"These guys need a snack. So they went to the Snack store.


Me: "What did they eat at the snack store?"


Connor: "Coke and butter." :::Looking at my disgusted face::: "No Mommy! Butter is good!"

* * * * * * * * *

Talking about his next birthday ..which is MONTHS away:::

Connor: The invitations should say Happy Birthday Connor. You are so good and happy. Please come."

* * * * * * * * *

I had just told Connor that we would be taking a Disney trip soon and told him we would be visiting EPCOT instead of Magic Kingdom::::

Connor: "But...but..I want to go to the REAL Disney!


* * * * * * * * *


:::Looking at some quarters::: Connor: This one says Texas!


Me: Don't mess with Texas!


Connor:"But....but...I LIKE to mess with Texas!"


* * * * * * * * *


:::After doing something he wasn't supposed to do, he hides his face behind his hands::::


Connor: "No mommy! I don't like that face! I wan't mommy to make only happy faces!!"


* * * * * * * * *

:::Walking in to find maybe 10 tissues on the couch::::

Connor: "It's tissue party!" (He has been fighting a runny nose)

* * * * * * * * *

:::Connor smashing a pea at the dinner table with his fingers::: "Look! My Pea hatched!"

* * * * * * * * *

:::After being in timeout twice in a row at Sunday School and many talks and an early nap for misbehaving...at the end of our day we are saying our prayers:::

Me: "Do you think we should pray about what happened in Sunday School today?"

Connor: "yes"

Me: "What happened in Sunday School?"

Connor: "I have no idea."

* * * * * * * * *

::Connor walking around the house aimlessly muttering to himself:::

"Dear Jee-jus...please help me find mommy's camera. I can't find it. Dear Jee-jus...please help me find my chocolate milk. You are the only one who knows."

* * * * * * * *

Fear Factor

When I was a kid, I was scared of a few things. Scared of going into the hall way leading into my room when it was dark by myself. Scared of getting locked inside a department store or restaurant at closing time. Scared of Abraham Lincoln. Yep, You heard me. Honest Abe. I had a reoccuring nightmare growing up that Abraham Lincoln walked around all zombie like, without bending his knees and he had kidnapped my brother. And I would search the streets of our town looking for him. Abraham Lincoln is a creepy looking guy if you think about it. But you gotta love what he did for this country, even if he was a zombie.

Now as an adult I am not scared of childhood things like that. And thankfully, Abe no longer visits my dreams. But I do wrestle with fear. Different fear. This is something that has been on my heart for a while to share on my blog. So run and go tell your friends...maybe I'll get an 8th follower! ;) I know usually my blog is very toungue and cheek. Todays post will be different. (Well except for the Abraham Lincoln zombie reference)

I remember reading somewhere in a book, that woman have tendancy to believe a certain lie that is customized for them by Satan. Something they wrestle with constantly. That little nagging reminder that you can't...you don't....you're not...you didn't...

So let me share my biggest fear with you...

Something will happen...and it's my fault.

To me, that is the BIGGEST fear in my life. Something tragic, something hurtful, something painful could happen to someone I love, and it would be MY doing. This thought, at least to me, is unbearable. This fear has presented itself in my life in a control issue. I honestly believe I have a slight form of OCD because of this fear. Fear that I will leave my house with the door unlocked. So what have I done in the past? I check the door..and recheck...and check one more time...just in case (because you can never be too sure of Abe Lincoln zombies in your neighborhood).

The oven. Heaven forbid I forget to leave an eye on the stove on. For I fear the house will burn to a crisp and it would be my doing.

Same goes with the iron, my flat iron for my hair and the coffee maker. All potential house burners. eek!

But worse than the house actually burning down and worse than someone breaking in, would be the fact knowing that it was because I forgot to turn something off or lock the door. Because I would never want to cause anyone pain or hurt because of a stupid mistake. The worst part is that I KNOW I have done these things. Ive locked the door. Ive turned the key, Ive checked the oven once already, I remember unplugging the iron and then I think....but what if? Are you sure you're sure?

This is something I have wrestled with and wrestled with, even reaching as far as salvation. I admit I have prayed that prayer a few times, but many times out of fear. Fear I said it wrong. Did it wrong. And to disappoint my Lord, ...that would be the hardest thing to face. I became almost embarrased at the amount of times I prayed. Many dates written in my Bible, thinking THIS was it. THIS is the time. And I'd go back. Back to that lie where I heard that whisper nag at me and say "No...you didnt mean it. You didnt do it right. I'd invision standing before God in heaven and him saying "No you missed step 2 and 3."

And then after a while. I began to look at things differently. I slowly realized that my salvation wasn't in my hands to keep. (Thank goodness) It wasnt about a formulaic prayer. It wasn't about steps. It is, however, about what I believe, what I know, what I trust. And knowing that maybe my prayers aren't the most poetic, but feeling relief that God knows my heart.

So in order to beat back this fear...the fear of something happening...and it being my doing...I had to turn to prayer in those times of fear. Of course I do lock my doors and shut off my oven, but when I begin to have that fear creep up of "Did I? Did I do that realy?" I have to pray that God will take care of it despite if I didn't. That is the fear I still have to wrestle with. I can't always say I win out on it everytime. There are times I check my hair iron 2 or 3 times before leaving on vacation or check the door even though my husband has said he has locked it. But it's no where near the obsessive point where it used to be. I'm a work in progress.

When it comes to my fear of the keeper of my salvation. I can honestly and joyfully say, I no longer fear it. For I know who is the keeper of my salvation. And thank God it isn't me!

Phil. 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Kindle-ized

I have been resisting the idea of a kindle.
Like wholeheartedly trying my best, NOT to join The Kindle Club.

Why? Because I think everytime you turn your Kindle on and download a bestseller...

a paperback cries.

I really cannot imagine myself curled up on the couch, snuggled under a blanket on a rainy day, with my coffee cup and reading a great book...on my kindle.

Wait...I don't even do that now....

lemme rephrase....

How do I hold my kindle in one hand, as I rock my fussy baby in the other in a mostly darkened room? Because thats basically how I get my reading in now.

How do I dog ear a kindle? Or use my grocery list as a book mark on a kindle? How do I instill the love of books into my children on a kindle? How do I resell my favorite but slightly worn books at 50 cents at a garage sale if they are on a Kindle?

Sigh...

Unfortunately....I believe the Kindle WILL make its way into my home. I think its the wave of the future. And the future is here. The future is Kindle...and The Nook (another version of an e-reader).

I just hope the future doesn't have glare.

...my paperbacks don't have glare. .....They also have a great book smell to them.

I bet the Kindle doesn't smell :::rolls eyes::::

I believe that Kindle-like readers will soon take the place of textbooks in schools within the next ten years, because its much more cost effective to download new versions of textbooks rather than buy new editions every few years. So that means my son and daughter will be Kindl-ized too in the near future. I don't like the idea of it.

There is a certain nostalgia associated with going into a bookstore or library to get a book. A romantacism with page-turners. A familiarity of an old treasured book you have re-read too many times to count...like having a comfortable conversation with an old friend.

I...I...I can't have a casual conversation with a...a...robot can I?

Well...this guy probably begs to differ. ...

Okay Kindle....you win..you win....eventually.

For now though... I will re-read my old, worn out copy of The Count of Monte Cristo that Ive had since the 8th grade, that I forgot to turn in at the end of the year.

And I WON'T have to squint! ....well...except I will....because I'll probably be rocking the baby in a dark room.

But I'll be squinting, because I WANT to.

Who loves ya, baby?

I love people who...

Cry in the middle of the night.

Poop their pants.

Spit green beans at me.

Gag on tylenol.

Hate Bananas

Wave at themself in the mirror.

Pull the cat's tail.

Pinch my face.

Have sticky hands.

.

.

.

.

I also love people who...

Like to dump all their belongings in my living room.

Insist on waffles every morning for breakfast.

Wake up at 6:45 each morning, even on Saturdays.

Make me "Apple Sprinkle Coffee."

Have colored on my kitchen table.

Will barely use a tissue and discard it on the floor.

Have a hard time sharing.

Get into my scrapbook paper and color on each sheet...without asking permission.

Any guesses who these people may be?

Before I was a mom

As promised...

Before I was a Mom

Before I was a mom

I made and ate hot meals.

I had unstained clothing.

I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a mom

I slept as late as I wanted

And never worried about how late

I got into bed.

I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a mom

I cleaned my house each day.

I never tripped over toys.
or forgot the words to lullabies.

Before I was a mom

I didnt worry whether or not my

plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a mom
I had never been pooped on

Spit up on

Chewed on

Peed on

Or pinched by tiny fingers.

Before I was a mom

I had complete control of myself;

My thoughts

My body

And my mind.

I slept all night.

Before I was a mom

I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't

want to put it down.

I never felt my heart break into a million tiny pieces

when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew something so small could affect

my life so much.

I never knew I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a mom.

Before I was a mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my

heart outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel

to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between

a mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small

could make me feel so important.

Before I was a mom

I had never gotten up in the middle of
the night, every ten minutes to make

sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth.

The joy

The love,

The heartache,

The wonderfulment

Or the satisfaction of being a mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so

much before I was a mom.

(Author unknown)